I’m a holistic health coach who optimized everything in pregnancy and for a natural birth but still ended up with an unplanned C-section.
Content Note: I am sharing the details of my unplanned C-section & birth story. My goal is to show God’s goodness in the unexpected, but if you are pregnant and sensitive to birth trauma or medical details, you may want to skip this one.
I originally wrote this a couple of weeks postpartum, while processing while it was still fresh and editing it 3 months postpartum.
I was healthy, my baby was healthy, and I followed every “natural” protocol: chiropractic care 2–3 times a week, optimized nutrition, birth classes, and a hand-picked birth team. My plan was an unmedicated, natural birth.
Initially, I looked into delivering at a birth center with a midwife next to the hospital; it seemed like a good middle ground with minimal intervention, but I ended up opting for a midwife in the hospital (who ended up on vacation, so I still ended up with a doctor).
I’m grateful we are both healthy. However, I’m still mourning the unmedicated natural birth I wanted to experience and share with my husband and baby.
Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.
God was with us in our decision-making during labor, ultimately leading to the best outcome despite my plans to go unmedicated.
After being in labor all night my water broke early in the morning and I couldn’t stop vomiting by the time we made it to the hospital I was exhausted dehydrated. I felt like I was suffering with being so weak and throwing up with almost every contraction.
I started getting scared and tense. I couldn’t even stand because I felt my muscles giving out.
After opting for an epidural to get some rest, they overdosed me on it (which was scary), leading to more medication (also being overdosed) but by the late morning we were stable and progressing.
I remember dilating to 9cm so quickly. Everyone was hyping me up, telling me how well I was doing for a first-time mom. We were so excited soaking in our last moments together before the baby.
I even took one last photo of my pregnant belly, thinking in just a few hours I’d have our baby in our arms.
But then, hours went by…
As the time stretched on, the atmosphere in the room shifted. I watched my nurse practically give up on me as her shift came to an end. The doctor began pushing for medical intervention.
Even though I was remaining optimistic, the room grew heavy with tension. I felt so stressed as interventions started being pressured. It felt like they were giving up on us.
The baby and I were still stable, and for a moment, hope returned when a new nurse arrived, one who was actually willing to help us try new positions to move the baby.
But the doctor seemed annoyed. It was getting late, and she seemed frustrated that I was still refusing more medication. I believe that stress and the tension in the room affected us both.
After a final, tense conversation with her, we discovered meconium in her fluid.
The ‘wait and see’ approach was over; the situation became urgent and we prepared for a C-section.
While the physical recovery was hard, the emotional trauma of the C-section was far worse. I still struggle with flashbacks of the moment I began passing out, looking up to see my husband in scrubs and a mask. That image still brings me to tears.
Even as the situation turned life-threatening, I had a profound peace that my baby and I were in God’s hands.
He was in control and kept us safe when my blood pressure dropped, the baby was stuck in my pelvis at 9 cm for 10 hours, and there was meconium present. God protected her lungs so she didn’t inhale it, and He kept her out of the NICU.
He kept us both safe even through the surgery where I wasn’t fully numb, hemorrhaged, and was drifting in and out of consciousness.
God was with us and gave me peace through it all.
I’m disappointed we missed out on a vaginal delivery where dad would have helped deliver her into my chest, have delayed cord clamping, he would have cut her cord, and I would have skin to skin with my baby & been able to breastfeed and bond with her immediately.
Instead, she was quickly delivered via C-section, my husband didn’t even get to cut her cord, and they rushed off to make sure she could breathe.
I was in and out of consciousness and too weak to hold her on my chest, and she had to have donor milk because I was not able to feed her, even though I tried.
My husband stepped in with skin-to-skin in the operating room, fed her donor milk on his chest, and took care of her while I was trying to survive.
I’m so grateful we have been recovering well, and she didn’t have to go to the NICU. We are still both very healthy and thriving despite the circumstances in which she was born.
If anything, optimizing my health during pregnancy has made recovery quicker and gave her a healthier start to her life than if I hadn’t.
Now, I’m more grateful for the lack of sleep, late nights feeding her, changing her dirty diapers, and just being able to hold her in my arms by myself.
I am beyond grateful for and even more in love with my husband, who protected us, loved us, and selflessly served us with everything he has.
We are also amazed by the love and prayers our friends and family have poured out to us during this time.
God has used this experience to remind me of the strength and resilience I have in my life through Him, which has enabled me to overcome so much.
My biggest fear was child birth being traumatic.
And it was. And that’s okay. It built faith and character. It made me a stronger woman and a better mom and wife. It reminded me that with God, you truly can overcome anything, because He is the one who gives us the strength to keep going.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Now, Almost 3 months postpartum as I post this and I would do it all over again just to see her little gummy smile smiling back at me.
Becoming a parent is to experience a glimpse sacrificial unconditional love that God gives freely to every one of us.
I’m thankful for this experience, although it wasn’t part of my plans. God is still good, he heals and in control, working all things out for our good.
I’m grateful to be writing while cuddling and feeding my healthy, sweet baby girl.
What a blessing and a gift it is to be a mom. 🤍
